


We raid heaven

by Myr



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: A Lot of People Are Dead, Afterlife, F/M, Heaven, LITERALLY, M/M, Not Season/Series 03 Compliant, Valhalla, Written before season 3, but that's what this story's about, everyone loves athelstan, not positive view of christianity, ragnar needs his slave, vikings raid heaven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1950357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myr/pseuds/Myr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a tumblr post</p><p>When Athelstan dies, his friends are waiting for him in Valhalla, but Christianity doesn't let him go that easily. When Athelstan gets taken to the Christian afterlife, the Vikins disagree. There is but one solution:<br/>They'll raid heaven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is only my third language and I have no beta, so if you find mistakes, I am 10000x sorry.

Ragnar looked down at Kattegat from up in Valhalla. He could see his sons, his priest, his wives and some of his friends feasting below, in celebration of Bjorn's first son. Floki sat down next to him, chuckling as he looked at the people below. "It won't be too long until the priest joins us now Ragnar. He's taking too many risks in battle."

Ragnar nodded, looking at Athelstan fondly. "Aye, I can't wait to show him Valhalla. It will be a pleasure to have him by our side at the feasts again."

"And not only that." Floki answered him with a knowing grin. He clapped Ragnar on the shoulder and stood up, walking inside again with an unsteady walk, already quite drunk from the feast. "Come and drink some more with us Ragnar, your priest will be here soon."

It took a while before Ragnar managed to look away and follow him inside.

 

****

  
Athelstan sat by the shore, deep in thought while he drew meaningless patterns in the sand. He only noticed Bjorn when he sat down next to him.

"Good morning" He said kindly.

"A good morning, yes. What are you doing?" Bjorn asked, picking up some stones to toss in the water.

"I was...praying." Athelstan said hesitatingly.

Bjorn raised an eyebrow "To which god?"

For a while they sat in silence and Athelstan seemed deep in thought. Suddenly he replied. "To- To Odin. I asked him to give Ragnar a good place at his table. Tell me Bjorn, how is everyone her so sure that it all exists? That Valhalla is real and that Odin and Frey and Thor are the real gods? How can I be sure that we will see Ragnar and Rollo and Floki and our other friends again?"

Bjorn smiled and shrugged. "Why did you become a priest for he other god? Because you had faith, because the people around you believed, because you knew in your heart that it was the right thing to believe. That's how I know I will go to Valhalla. I can feel it in my bones and blood."

Athelstan gave him an uncertain smile . "I hope you are right."

 

****

  
Lagertha watched the boat go up in flames in the distance together with the rest in the village. Every last person had come out to say goodbye. She had her arm around Bjorn who was wrapped up in bandages.

"The last thing he said to me was that he would see father tonight. I told him to give him our greetings. In the end he found his faith." Bjorn mused. Lagertha nodded

"He died a worthy death. He fought till his last breath and defended our home with honour. Bringing him to us was one of the best things Ragnar ever did. Now tonight, they will feast again together, and Ragnar can get his priest drunk as he used to do. You gave him a good burial"

Bjorn smiled "He deserved it. It will be a merry evening in Valhalla indeed."

 

***

  
Ragnar ran to the doors of Valhalla, grabbing Floki by his neck on the way.

"He's comming Floki! He's arriving today!" He shouted, dragging Floki along enthousiastically. They stopped at the doors and caught their breath, watching the Valkyries letting the warriors in. Ragnar paced around, full of impatience and excitement while Floki watched him with an amused smirk.

"Calm down, you lovesick fool." He giggled. Ragnar tried to punch him in a playful way but then his eyes lit up as he saw a familiar figure approaching in the distance. He took two steps to the very border of the halls and grinned at Athelstan who was comning closer.

Floki whispered in his ear "He only sees a blinding light, you know." but Ragnar pushed him away "I know, shh."

Meanwhile a Valkyrie approached Athelstan. "Are you a viking? Do you believe the Asgardians are your gods? Will you serve Odin as an Einherjar until Ragnarok?"

Athelstan nodded and Ragnar's chest filled with pride. Soon he would be able to hug his priest again. The Valkyrie grabbed Athelstan's arm and turned around to lead him into Valhalla. When they nearly reached the border, another bright light appeared. A stern woman in white robes came out and put her hand on Athelstan's shoulder. From her back four white wings were visible. Ragnar recognized what Athelstan had described as an angel when he had told him of his old religion. He stopped breathing, already sensing what was going to happen. 

"This man is baptized and a priest of god and his son Jesus. He belongs in heaven, purgatory or hell and he should be judged by our god." The beautiful angel said without a hint of emotion.

Everyone went silent and the other Valkyries turned to watch. It was a moment of complete silence. Athelstan's face had gone completly white, and Ragnar tried to get to him, screaming in soundless fury, but he could not pass trough the doors. Then the moment was over and the Valkyrie shrugged and handed Athelstan to the angel. He threw one more sad but resigned look at the doors of Valhalla, and then they were gone, no sign of their presence left.

Ragnar screamed in rage and slammed into the doors, beating them with his fists. The Valkyries went back to work an ignored him. After a couple of hours of raging at the nothingness, he finally got exhausted. He slid down onto his knees and looked at Floki with a devastated expression. Floki answered it with a sad sigh.

"You knew this was a possibility Ragnar. I always said he couldn't get rid of his old religion completely." He whispered.

"But Rollo got in without any problem and he was baptized too." Ragnar spat out trough gritted teeth.

"Rollo was viking first-"

"I WILL NOT HAVE PEACE WITH THIS!"

Floki sighed again "Ragnar, there is nothing you can-"

"We'll see about that, Floki. This evening, gather anyone who is loyal to me or who wants a real fight. I will speak to them. We will see about this." Ragnar walked of with the expression of a man who had made up his mind, more determined than Floki had ever seen him. The trickster whistled, knowing that history would be written soon. Then he got on his way to find Rollo and their other friends, already looking foreward to seeing it unfold.

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I got a death threat from a friend already after not more than 4 hours XD  
> (Also please forgive me if I wrote Loki instead of Floki somewhere, it keeps happpening because I am used to writing Loki fics )

The hall was filled with a lot of people when evening came. Rollo sat in Siggy's arms with a pint of beer, Floki occupied a dark corner, and a lot of Ragnar's old friends like Erik, Arne, Leif, Torstein and Tostig sat or stood around. Surprisingly there were also a good amount of warriors who had not known Athelstan or Ragnar while they had been alive. They were there for the promise of adventure and glory, and trusted Ragnar to bring both.

When Ragnar strode in, he could read from their faces that Floki had informed them about what had happened earlier that day. He nodded at Floki, who looked back slighlty concerned, and stood on a table, wasting no time.

"Friends, warriors. Today, something terrible happened. A great injustice. Many of you know my friend and fellow warrior Athelstan. He was once a Christian slave, but became a true viking later in life, and a worthy companion to a lot of us-" He saw some people nodding and it made him smile a little.

"- Athelstan died honourably in battle today. He has, however, been denied enterance to Valhalla! Those Christian pigs still laid a claim on him even though he has sworn them of. I do not accept this! He fought beside us in many shieldwalls and battles. When dying, he confirmed to the Valkyrie that he shared our beliefs. He could not have lied, yet she let him go! Our friend Floki said nothing could be done about it, but I do not believe that! I talked to many wise people today, and one of them claims she can get us to what the Christians call heaven. With her seidr, we would go in, take a hostage and make them get Athelstan. We only attack when attacked, go in and out as fast as we can. I know the idea of breaking into another afterlife is...unconventional. We are all brave men and women though, and nothing would make our names more known."

Ragnar waited a while to add some tension. Some of his people shared looks, and he heared some muttering. He knew they were all tempted by his words.

"Now I ask of you: who wants to follow me on this raid?" He shouted.

Rollo slammed his beer on the table. "I will!"

"I will!" Floki said rubbing his hands and jumping up with a crazy grin.

And soon all of the vikings present were shouting "I will" in a loud cacophony

***

The next morning the whole band had gathered in full battle armour. Before them stood a dark haired woman with a lot of dark makeup under her eyes, a bit like Floki's. She was dressed in black, with black feathers as decoration everywhere. She appeared a little fragile, but she had a fierce look in her eyes and a beautiful sword at her side, and Ragnar didn't doubt she would make a worthy opponent if she was in Valhalla.

Ragnar nodded at her when everyone was ready to go. She turned to open a curtain that revealed a big obsidian mirror.

"When I break this mirror, a pathway to the Christian Valhalla will open. You can pass trough it and bring your friend back. When you return I will make the mirror whole again so no one will be able to follow you." She looked at Ragnar intensly. "Make certain no one is left behind."

Everyone nodded, and with a swipe of her arm the mirror shattered in a thousand pieces. On the other side a bright, clean place could be seen. What stood out most was the heavy silence that felt like it rolled out of the mirror like it was a physical thing. Ragnar took a deep breath and signed for the others to follow as he went trough the mirror.

***

They had been walking around in heaven for quite a while, and all they had encountered was big bright silent halls. Sometimes they passed men and women clad in white robes, but they always ran away when they saw the Vikings tried to approach them. When Rollo ran after one and caught him, the man had whispered that he knew no Athelstan. Now they made him lead the way to a man named Peter, who apparently possesed a book with all Christians' names and where they resided.

The people they encountered now stared at them with big scared and confused eyes, and made sure to stay out of their path. All of them made cross signs, and it was about the only thing they did. It reminded Ragnar of how Athelstan had done that when he first arrived. Ragnar sighed at the thought of him, and hoped they'd find him soon. He didn't get how anyone could wish to stay in this dull place for their afterlife

***

"H-here...this is t-the great enterance hall. Y-you can find the H-holy Saint Peter inside! Now p-please let me go, don't hurt  me please!" The man stammered. Rollo threw him aside without giving him another look, and together with some of the men, pushed open the great doors. At first, they could finally hear murmuring, but that quickly died away when the people inside them saw their visitors standing in the doorway. 

Inside there was a long line of men and women, all of them still in their regular clothes. The line led up to a big impressive desk. On it there were a giant book and keys. Behind the desk a tall bearded elder man was seated, and on both sides, creatures that looked like the angel who had taken Athelstan, lead people away trough different doors.

When the vikings made their enterance, everyone fell silent and all eyes focused on them. They walked until they reached the middle of the hall and then Ragnar stepped foreward.

"I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MAN NAMED PETER." He bellowed, scaring a lot of people with his intimidating voice. The man behind the desk however, did not look intimidated. He calmly stood up and straightened his robes. 

"I am Saint Peter. In the sevenhundred years I've been working here, I've never seen something like this. Who are you?"

Ragnar sneered, but lowered his volume. "We are Vikings, and we come to retrieve our friend. We are not weaklings like your followers, and he has been wrongfully taken to your afterlife. He is a servant of Odin like us, and you will give him back or we will slaughter all your people a second time." 

"What is your friend's name, heathen?" Peter answered, a bead of sweat running down his temple. He still looked calm, but Ragnar knew he would seek the easiest way out of this situation. He could see the old man had no idea what to do in a situation like this.

"His name is Athelstan. He was a monk once, but he became one of us later in life." Ragnar said in a low voice. The Saint let out a shrill laugh at hearing that. 

"Then why are you seeking him in heaven, heathen? You will not find him here. After all, those of us who betray the father, the son and the holy spirit and their church go straight to the deepest pits of hell..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a historian to be I did a tiiiny little bit of research: I made heaven so empty because I reasoned, as a young religion a lot of christians where still in purgatory since there existed indulgentia for hundreds and thousands of years. Purgatory as a place rather than a transitional condition only appered in 12th century though. Well oops. This means that since I am dealing with some anachronisms already, you shall have to bear with me editing the design of hell from Dante's 14th century work to my own needs, because seriously who doens't love that. (Sorry if the whole system bores you though)

Ragnar grabbed the man by his troath, red hot rage coursing trough his veins. "You condemned my friend to eternal suffering?" he spat.

  
"H-he was born a Christian and became a m-monk. H-e knew our rules!"

"And then he stopped beeing a Christian. You have no right to do this to him!"

The saint tried to mutter something to deny that, but Ragnar slammed him down onto the table. He crashed his axe in it next to Peter's head and the man flinched visibly. Ragnar pulled his axe out of the desk again and put it on his troath.

"I do not know what happens to Christians when they get killed in their afterlife. Judging from your face, you do not know either, so for your sake, I would not test my patience!" Ragnar spat at the Saint who laid between the desk and his axe. The man shivered and stammered "O-okey, okey, I will explain!"

Saint Peter swallowed and waved towards the book on the desk. "The book records all the sins people did in their lives. S-Sins are the things forbidden to us, and there are different levels of sin. If you commit certain sins, you will be punished for them, eternally in hell, or temporary in p-purgatory if they prayed for forgiveness. Hel has nine circles, and the place where sinners reside depends on what they have done wrong." 

"Then where is he?" Ragnar growled, drawing a droplet of blood from Peter's troath with his axe.

"I-I can look in the book for it!" The saint promised quickly, tugging the book closer. Ragnar moved his axe a little further away to give the man permission to look.

Peter swallowed, knowing he would have to tell the Viking bad news. "He would have gone to the inner ring of the seventh circle, where those violent against god, the blasphemers, and the sodomites go, but-but he was also a traitor to his country, by fighting against his land for you...I fear you will find him in Antenora, the third round of the ninth circle. T-That's one short from he bottom, where the worst punishments are given."

 "You will take us to him, and then I will kill you, slowly, and we will see what happens to Christians who die twice. If you return, you'll beter hope our business here is finished before you do." Ragnar whispered darkly. He released the man and took a step back. Peter tried to take deep breaths and attempted to get up. He complained hesitantly that he could not leave heaven, but Floki, who had slowly moved around the desk, grabbed him by his hair and pulled the saint against him with his knife on his troath.

"No funny business now, or we you and I will actually have to make our friends laugh." He said with a giggle, waving the knife dangerously close. "Now lead the way."

The saint looked at the angels who had been leading people away a bit desperately. They just stood expressionless at the doors and did not intervene or react in any way. Peter let out a nervous breath and pointed towards a scorched door with a black curtain hanging in the doorway "It's-trough that door." 

Ragnar looked at Rollo and Floki and gave his men a nod. "Follow me my friends. Glory lies ahead of us."

And with that he walked trough the curtain.

***

They stood on the edge of an upward tunnel with a bright light at the end of it. It looked like the one trough which the deceased came into Valhalla, but they were a lot lower than where Valhalla would be. Behind them in the wall were a set of dark doors, who radiated a feeling of fear and evil which even the vikings could feel. To Ragnar's left, the saint spoke up. "Here we are in the vestibule, where the sould of heathens pass. Hell is that way." He said, waving at the doors while taking some steps backwards. Sadly for him, he bumped into Floki by doing that, and the boatbuilder raised his knife to the man's troath again. 

"No one is saying goodbye yet. You show us the way." Floki grinned, pushing the man foreward trough the dark gloomy doors.

***

When they passed beyond the doors they entered a cave so big that they could not see where it ended. The only thing visible was a river, and a gigantic fence on the other side. A boat waited at the riverside, with a line of terrified looking people in front of it. Peter looked quite relieved at the sight of it. He muttered that the man in the boat, Charon, only took the dead residents of hell across the river. 

"We'll see about that" Rollo said cheerfully. He approached the old man in the boat, skipping the line of waiting people.

"I only take the dea-" Charon started right before Rollo knocked him out cold with the blunt side of his axe. 

"We did not ask you to take us." He told the unconcious body, pulling it to the back of the boat, and waving to the others to join him. They all climbed on board, Floki almost tumbling back out because he was laughing too hard with Peter's face of disbelieve. 

"We are vikings, saint. We are good sailors. We can get over this little river." He hiccuped, once he could stop laughing long enough to form words.

Out of one of his pockets Floki got a piece of rope and he tied it around the saint's neck. Then he started tying it around the mast, so he could leave him there to inspect the front of the boat. He didn't reallly manage to finish that. Not even halfway over the river, all of his friends who stood in front of him dropped down one by one. It took the boat only two more meters until he too fell down face first in a deep sleep, without being able to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I switched Limbo and the vestibule. Virteous pagans go to limbo, people who do nothing to the vestibule, according to dante. If you are actually interested in Inferno, please look it up because I am improvising and polishing a lot to fit the story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I said before, switched limbo and vestibule to fit the plot, virtuous pagans should be in limbo and other way around.  
> I spare you a detailed description of all the horors down there but some are really creative and worth looking up ;)

Ragnar suddenly woke and jumped up. He and his friends, who were also slowly waking up, had been sleeping on the shore of the river, the boat no longer in sight.

He grabbed Saint Peter, who had been waking up next to him by his neck. "What happened?" he hissed. The man was suddenly wide awake and he shuddered in his rough hands. 

 

"I-I don't know. I have never been here" he spluttered. 

"Great" Floki spat. "Now we've lost our boat."

"We will worry about that later. Everyone get up. We are moving on." Ragnar said, letting go of the saint, who fell backwards on the ground and tried to scramble up. "Lead the way."

***

Ragnar shivered. They had been descending lower and lower into the black pit the Christians called Hel all day, and the Viking had seen more horrors than he had ever seen in his entire life. There had been giant monsters, ferocious beasts, and he noticed this place was a lot fuller than heaven had been. He had seen people locked in flaming tombs, drowned in rivers of boiling blood, chased for eternity by hounds, and more things than he would like to remember. Every time he had seen someone in the robes of a priest he had looked up hopefully, but it seemed like many of the men who served this god had not been worthy of his love. No wonder Athelstan had been so terrified to break his vowd at first. 

They passed people buried in human excrement, people who were whipped for eternity or bitten by snakes and people who suffered all sorts of diseases. Finally they arrived at the edge of the deepest pit. There were giants standing in it, and they could only make out that the bottom was a frozen lake. 

The giants did not pay them any attention, so they moved closer. Peter, who was now shivering violently and had already puked a couple of times, actually burst out in tears.

"H-he's down there! I don't know how to get down! P-please don't make me go there, please let me go. Have mercy on me!"

His friends sneered and started laughing. Ragnar, who was not in a joking mood, just looked at him with an ice cold glare.

"Like your god has mercy on these people? Like he was merciful to good and kind Athelstan?" he whispered, pushing the saint closer to the edge. "No, I think you will go first." 

Saint Peter started panicking, but Ragnar made sure he went down the path that circled the pit. He clinged on the wall, and Ragnar lost his patience multiple times, cursing the slowness of the saint. Behind him Floki whispered "Can I behead him if he stops one more time?" but Ragnar just motioned for him to be silent. So far nothing had attacked them, but this place gave all of them the creeps.

They reached the bottom and though it took some time to convince Peter, they finally stepped onto the ice. The sight that greeted them was horrific. People were trapped into the burning ice to varying degrees, deeper and deeper. In the middle of it all there was a gigantic monster with three heads, also trapped in te ice, and it was chewing on humans. 

"Where is he? SHOW ME!" Ragnar exploded, unable to keep his temper at bay anymore. The Vikings were used to cold, but after being here less than a minute even they were almost frozen. The ice was so cold that it would feel to skin like burning fire 

"T-the sinners trapped in cocytus are frozen in varying degree, depending on their treachery. He will be submerged in Juddeca, because he is a traitor to his lords. That's closest to the middle." he answered, continually making cross-signs and muttering prayers to himself.

The group moved forward, ignoring the other people suffering in pure agony, dread weighing hard on their hearts. They reached the part where the humans were completely submerged. Saint Peter refused to go further and they left him and split up to quicken their search. The Vikings inspected every person buried in the ice. They were completely encased, but clearly conscious and in agony. Their screams carried upwards through the layers of ice and their eyes followed the vikings walking past, filled with terrible pain.

Suddenly Floki yelled from the other side of the field. "He's here, he's he-by Odin..."

Ragnar turned around an ran towards them as fast as he could, tears forming in his eyes as he dropped to his knees where Floki stood.

There, two meters below the ice, was the man he loved, his body turned into unnatural angles, his head looking downwards but the agony still clearly visible on his frame.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beeing frozen by ice can be as painful as burning of heath. Even more depending on the degree of coldness. I talk from personal expierience.


End file.
